I started seeing this girl a few months ago. I was out of a relationship and really was not into it even ?

though she was a good girl. I had been in a relationship for years and for the first time i was doing my thing. I was working full time, going to school full time and also competing in bodybuilding. I guess i still had the ex on my mind. Well i was seeing this girl and tiold her i just was'nt ready. She got very upset and was calling all the time, leaving work early. she said she did not know why she was so sad, she said maybe cause nobody had ever done this to her. well we started talking again and became friends with benefits. i was still very distant. I guess she got really sick of it. When she finally started to blow me off ,i started really liking her. I guess it's part ego or something. I also just turned 30 and am starting to think i'll never find the special someone. Now i am the one that is sad, and it is tearing me up inside. Just need some advice on the situation. What should i do? please good advice, none of the well you are getting yours now jerk ,,please cause i already know that. It's hard sometimes when you cant get past things out of your head and yes i was a jerk. I just wish she knew that i'm not the man that she has the misfortune of knowing for the past few months.